And On
by Michelle Spadaccini, May 23, 2020
Another mangle of sheets
as sleep again eludes me
rolling in an ocean of blankets.
The nightly routine I know well,
long for and yet dread.
Endless streams of dreams
my mind sifting through the day’s anxieties
familiar yet strange
grasping for peace unattainable.
Resigned to failure again
reaching deep for resolve out of reach
I embark bleary eyed on another day
in a string of days bound together seamlessly
challenging my sanity.
A husband’s devotion to routine
a source of amusement
grateful for the normalcy it brings.
Fleeting touches,
lips brushing.
The soft pad pad of feet from the hall,
son searching for a favorite muffin,
emptiness disappoints,
a leaning embrace.
I smile inwardly at the familiar scene
awaiting the daily deluge of emotion.
Waves of feeling breaking over me
threatening engulfment
as I struggle to find the words to soothe,
ease his mind
seemingly more fragile daily.
The to-do list beckons
interest long ago dulled
projects linger.
Each achievement feels a colossal accomplishment
yet no longer provides satisfaction.
The usual knock on the door
the mumbled response
a nuzzle of hair
a son’s mind enveloped in a strong hold impenetrable.
Friends voices break the monotony
read or heard,
I am grateful for either.
A skirmish threatens the peace of the home.
Space and time appease wounded egos.
The day’s events drone on,
hours crawl.
Fatigue threatens any daily efficiency
evening news refrain numbs the mind.
Night looms.
A sigh of resignation.
And on it goes…
*****
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